5 Stages of Intimate Dating.

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by Crispus Gichuki

Dating refers to the period in which two individuals (male and female) are assessing their suitability as partners to an intimate relationship. It involves exploring to check whether they are compatible enough.

Exploring would imply working out to discover the other person's traits, weaknesses, strengths, vision among others.



The 5 Stages of Dating.

 1. Attraction

Dating relationships start from a point. Attraction level is the initial stage of it all. Early attraction is attributed to outward appearance, personality traits and bold type. Differences may not be noticed and flaws are dismissed with "not a big deal", "it’s okay", "she will change"

Every person who gets to dating has their story and it's very different and unique from other people's story. Let me give a short story about Kim and Angela.

 Angela and Kim met on campus. Angela had been requested by Pauline to take her to the washroom. As Angela waited for Pauline outside the washroom, Kim found her there and their story began.

God plans each and every person's story. He knows where, when and how your story will begin. The problem is that we do not wait for The Lord's time and desperately get into that are not authored by God.

 David says "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."-Psalm 139:16

He knows each and every day and has good plans for you. All we ought to do is to fully trust in him and pray that His will may be done in our life. Pray that the Lord may make his time known to you.

 The attraction stage is where people term it as "Chemistry" where one feels so much attraction.

 2. Reality

 In this stage, the real you get revealed. Here you begin to have arguments and see the flaws in your partner.

In the attraction stage, people fear to show out the real them because they think if she or he gets to know me, he might not love me and this could be the end of it but you can never hide for long. 

It's the stage is where most of the people quit with the thoughts of making a mistake. This only happens when one cannot accept the flaws of the other.

You should accept each other’s flaws to progress to the next level.

At times at this level, it may look like there is no love, no fantasy as in the previous level which makes people quit. Andy Warhol said that fantasy love is much better than reality love.

People look for fantasy love in the time of reality which cannot work.

This level sieves wheat from the chaff. If you are ready to pay the price you need to be strong to persevere to get to the commitment level.

3. Commitment

This is a very crucial stage in dating. The seriousness of the relationship is realized in this stage.

At this stage, the partners have a good understanding of each other. They are accountable to each other. Serious communication takes place here as they work towards a common goal.

Honest and detailed conversation happens on topics which concern the future such as family, finances, careers, kids, style of living and many more.

Differences in this stage are not overlooked. They are pointed out. Relationships are said to help one grow and adjust one's traits.

Sacrifice is also a key concept in this stage. 

 4. Intimacy

This stage entails cultivating and nourishing true love. It takes place after bonding with your partner. People in this stage testify of the sweetness of love. The first and key concept to intimacy in a relationship is developing a oneness of spirit.

In this stage, you have nothing to withhold back. You openly share all with your partners. Openness is very key in any relationship. It’s also a test of true love. You need to share your past experiences even if painful.

 5. Engagement

This is a heightened stage where partners decided to be together for life. A test in this is the apologizing and forgiving act which helps to sustain the relationship. This also helps them to keep moving on.



People in this stage have the thought of unbroken and unmoved love. They are very firm and zealous of one another.

 

  NOTE: This stage is not marriage. Marriage is just at the fingertips and keeps running through their mind. The partners are so passionate and ready to get to marriage. Uphold and maintain your marriage bed pure


With these 5 stages, you can definitely know where you are destined together. Take time to explore your partner. Know his purpose, vision, temperament traits and his or her faith. When also considering your choice, pay attention to the content rather than the container. I assure you this will work for you.







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